On March 29, 2017 my life changed forever. At 5:31 pm my beautiful daughter Junia Bridges Lee entered the world in a wildly dramatic fashion and for being such a wildly dramatic girl, her father and I expected nothing less.
My due date was March 26, and as the day came and went our impatience grew. At my 40 week doctor appointment, the midwife informed me that I was 80% effaced and 1 cm dialated. She offered to strip my membranes to help speed things along and said she'd be surprised if I didn't have the baby by Friday. So, with membranes stripped, we waited. Tuesday morning around 1 am I woke up with crazy nausea, vomiting, and constant cramping. Perhaps the beginning of labor? I was thrilled when I went to the bathroom to find bloody show, meaning labor was certainly near.
I started going into labor for real around noon that day. So naturally, I was excited and terrified at the same time. Finally, the moment I've been preparing for the last nine months had arrived! But it also meant I would have to confront one of my biggest fears: giving birth.
Will was at work so I decided to go to my parents' house to distract myself. My mom was incredibly helpful! She baked cookies and muffins for post-delivery, played countless rounds of bananagrams, and made me get up and walk every ten minutes. Contractions progressed slowly and Will met me at my parents' after work. We went home after dinner hoping it would only be a few more hours until we got to meet our little one, we were unfortunately mistaken.
I decided to rest that night to preserve my energy, but woke up at 2 am only to realize I couldn't remember the last time I had felt a contraction. I began frantically pacing our apartment with tears rolling down my cheek feeling like a failure. I had worked so hard to get to labor, and then it was suddenly gone. Around 2:30 am I woke up Will and we played Just Dance to get things moving again, thankfully that worked! From then on, contractions became more regular and intense.
Around 6 am on Wednesday, we went to Perkins to have one final meal before delivery. Plus, what is better than breakfast and card games to distract from labor pains? I got a lot of funny looks as I got up to pace the restaurant every five minutes to manage the contractions. Around 8 am, now 20 hours into labor, we decided to walk around Target to help get the baby out. Once again we received many funny looks as I would randomly collapse over a display while Will placed pressure on my lower back.
Finally, around 9:30 am, my contractions were consistent and close enough to call our doula and doctor, both of whom suggested we go to the hospital. Here is where time began to blur together, so my time table might be off a little. We arrived at St. Joe's and taken to triage. After a cervical exam, I found I was 90% effaced and 2 cm dialated. What! That's it? Needless to say, we were both disappointed. Now 22 hours in and very little progress had been made. The nurses would have sent me home, but my blood pressure was slightly high (due to the stress of labor) so they kept me in triage connected to monitors for three hours. By this point, my contractions were far more intense and had moved into my lower back.
About two hours in, the midwife on duty came in to talk about my options. The Kaiser doctor wanted to induce me immediately because he was afraid my high blood pressure would turn into pre-eclampsia, but she said I was free to go home if I wanted, I would just have to sign a waiver acknowledging I was acting against the advisory of a doctor.
Leading up to labor, I had decided to give birth non-medicated. Mainly because I was terrified of having a giant needle in my back, but also because I trusted my body and its capability to do what it was made to do. But feeling contractions to such intensity and being told I was I only in early labor, I was seriously contemplating induction and medication. I feared I would not have enough strength or energy to continue in labor if I was only in the beginning. My doula informed me what of would/could happen with each option so my husband and I were able to confidently process our next steps.
I decided to go home and continue with a non-medicated labor, partly because I was stubborn and partly because I wanted to prove the doctor wrong. However, on the drive home, labor quickly progressed. We were only home for an hour or two before Will decided we needed to go back to the hospital. I was hesitant because I feared they would keep me in triage forever only to send me back home again, plus the idea of riding in a car while experiencing crazy intense back contractions every three minutes did not sound appealing. But thank goodness Will was looking out for me because when we left for the hospital at 3:30pm we were only two hours away from meeting our baby girl.
As I was wheelchaired into the women's center, the nurses rushed me directly to labor and delivery. They obviously saw how far along I was and knew there wasn't much time left. I sighed a huge sigh of relief as we flew by triage and into the delivery room.
Around 4:15 pm I was 8 cm dialated and fully effaced. Almost go time.
A team of nurses and residents introduced themselves in the brief moments of awareness between my contractions. I was hooked to an i.v. and an external fetal monitor and everything seemed good to go. That is until Junia's heart rate began to drop.
The on-call doctor rushed in (because the doctor from earlier was in the middle of a c-section) and immediately took charge. She broke my water so they could place some sort of electronic monitor device on my baby's head to get a more accurate read of her vitals. The doctor calmly, yet urgently, said to me "We need to get this baby out now or you will need an emergency c-section." Looking back, the adrenaline kept me motivated and somewhat calm, but in reflecting upon that statement I am filled with tears. I could have lost my baby during birth.
By 5:15 pm the room was filled with upwards 15 people: doctors, nurses, residents, and a team ready to rush me to the operating room if necessary. With Junia's heart rate still dropping, they give me an oxygen mask and tell me it's time to push. My husband supporting one leg, my doula the other, I pushed with all my might. Yet Junia stayed put. The doctor quickly and gently informed me she would need to use forceps to help guide the baby out. So in a brief moment between contractions, she placed the forceps and with each push I gave, she pulled.
By 5:31 pm my baby was born with the cord wrapped around her neck. Due to such a traumatic birth experience, I was not able to immediately hold her skin-to-skin. Instead she was whisked to the side to ensure she was healthy, stable, and able to breathe. Will stood by her while I delivered the placenta and received stiches for a third-degree perineal tear. After what seemed like an eternity, I was finally able to hold my beautiful daughter. And after one glance I realized everything I had just experienced was worth it.
I would not have been able to endure a non-medicated birth with forceps of it wasn't for the incredible support and constant encouragement of my husband, doula, and team of nurses. During our entire stay at the hospital, the nurses commended me for being a super warrior woman because they had rarely seen such strength and courage. It is amazing what the female body can do, and thanks to this experience I will never doubt my strength again.
It has now been a week since we welcomed our daughter into the world, and although the transition has been difficult at times, the joy of watching her discover the world far outweighs the frustration of explosive poop and late night cluster feedings. I love being a mom and I can't wait to watch Junia grow into the empowered, creative, and beautiful woman she will be.
